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             Alzenheimer The Great 
						  
								  
								  6:16. The microwave's LED flickered. 6:17. And 
									his father was yammering about savings 
									bonds. Hundreds! Of hundreds! Mom had 
									crammed them between old Vogue and 
									Simplicity patterns in Her Room. 
									
									"She don't sew nothing now! Won't even do me 
									a button. So I figure I clean out the junk, 
									right? Good thing I stuck my schnozzola in 
									there. Seventy-five grand. No records! What 
									if the house burns down?" 
									
									Bobby yawned into the half-sleeve of his 
									pajamas. "The smoke alarm. Did you check the 
									battery?" 
									
									"Dresses, curtains, what have you. 
									Tinderbox, ready to go. I never asked how 
									she spent her money. She got some that go 
									back to 1948!" 
									
									Brenda, Bobby's wife, had just walked into 
									the kitchen, rubbing her hair above the 
									sliver of dusty light coming through the 
									east window. He raised his eyebrows in her 
									direction and said into the telephone, "So 
									what's the problem, Dad?" 
									
									"They're all in her name. And your name. And 
									your sister's." Bobby hadn't heard his 
									father actually speak his sister's name 
									since 1969, when she'd passionately soiled 
									the living room carpet with a conscientious 
									objector from Julliard. Now Elizabeth lived 
									alone in Baltimorejust an hour up Route 95 
									from his parents' house in Alexandria.  
									
									"So congratulate us," Bobby said. "We're 
									catching up to your net worth." 
									
									"They're E series bonds. No interest for 
									years, while the stock market's been going 
									through the rafters. If I'da known about 
									them" 
									
									"You know about them now. Explain it to 
									Mom." 
									
									"She won't listen to me." 
									
									"Just speak. Slow. And. Loud. She'll 
									understand."  
									
									"No way, Bobby. When we went to the Red 
									Lobster last week, she didn't even recognize 
									me. Her own husband! She asked the waiter 
									who I was." 
									
									Now Bobby was wide awake. "Sweet Jesus. I 
									thought it was just her hearing." 
									
									"It's a mental thing. In her head, Bobby. 
									You couldn't see it last summer. Now half 
									the time she's someplace else. Alzenheimer's." 
									 
									"No, no"  
									 
									"Get off the phone, Yvette. I'm trying to 
									have a private talk with your son." 
									 
									"Birds," she said. "Look at ze birds." 
									 
									She would be downstairs, by her kitchen 
									window, looking at the Droll Yankee Feeder. 
									"What kind, Mom? Wrens? Chickadees?" 
									 
									"Zey fly." 
									 
									His mother had been an avid birdwatcher even 
									during his childhood, leading him through 
									the Peterson's Field Guide, drawing by 
									drawing, map by map. Focusing his eyes. His 
									ears. "Wrens?" he shouted. "Chickadees?"  
									 
									"No. Ze red ones." She swore in French. "Zey 
									fly away." 
									 
									"Cardinals," his father said. "She means 
									cardinals." 
									 
									He wondered if his father could identify any 
									other bird he'd never eaten. Crow, probably. 
									"Dad, when's the last time you both saw a 
									doctor?" 
									 
									"She ain't alone in this, Bobby. Look at 
									Ronald Reagan. They can't do nothing for the 
									poor guy. The Great Communicator. I watch 
									the TV. I know Alzenheimer's when I see it." 
									 
									"Stop talking about Alzheimer's, Dad." 
									 
									"Alzenheimer ze Great!" his mother 
									screeched. "Because one of zem is whatever, 
									he's trying at me." She laughed. "Name him 
									an airport and he still knows nozzing." 
									Bobby's ear stung when the kitchen receiver 
									slammed into its cradle, five hundred miles 
									away. 
									 
									"That's it!" His father was shouting into 
									the other extension. "I'm gonna call you 
									back from my lawyer's house. He's a jogger. 
									Nobody ever gets the jump on him!" 
									 
									 
									 
									 
									 
									Bobby figured he'd have twenty minutes, 
									while his father was on the road, so he 
									called Elizabethto keep her informed. When 
									he woke her up, she was even more Elizabeth 
									than usual.  
									 
									"La Donna E Mobile. It's always 
									her fault." 
									A notorious contralto, Elizabeth gave voice 
									lessons to a large and ever-changing cast of 
									students. 
									 
									"Can't you drive to Alexandria?" 
									 
									"I can't even call. I can't speak to 
									him, 
									and he won't let me speak to her. He turns 
									the telephone down so she can't hear it 
									ring." 
									 
									"Just walk into the house. You could take 
									them to your therapist." 
									 
									"Therapist? They don't need a therapist. 
									They need David Copperfield." When Elizabeth 
									laughed, he always imagined a goose with its 
									beak stuck in the small end of a megaphone. "If he can zap the Empire State Building, 
									maybe he can make fifty years go kapoof." 
									 
									"He doesn't have to. Mom can't remember a 
									thing." 
									 
									"Good for her." 
									 
									"I fail to see" 
									 
									"You were too young, Bobby. You can't 
									understand what he put her through." 
									 
									"And you spent 1945 in Lyons?" Elizabeth was 
									born during the Berlin Airlift, in the 
									American sector. 
									 
									"Do you believe he never learned a word of 
									her language? The Great Master Sergeant 
									Robert J. Semansky. She was seventeen, for 
									God's sake. Statutory rape. And don't think 
									he's not good at forgetting, either. I'll 
									never set foot in that house again. Not as 
									long as he's alive. You don't know the half 
									of what he did to me." 
									 
									Bobby and Brenda had just seen A Thousand 
									Acres in Charleston, and last year he'd had 
									a girl in one of his classes whose 
									Monday-morning bruises had forced him to 
									call Social Services. But his father was no 
									Jason Robards, and he couldn't imagine his 
									sister repressing 
									anything, except sympathy. "Elizabeth, did 
									he ever" 
									 
									"A prevert. That's what he called me. Mr. 
									Head of Internal Security." She made her 
									Goose Sound again. "I would've Lorena'd him. 
									Bobbitt J. Semansky!" 
									 
									  
		
								   
									 
									Bobby had been a late child, a 
									surpriseborn when Elizabeth was already a 
									teenager. His father never talked about the 
									war when Mom was in the same room, and she 
									never talked about it at all. He couldn't 
									remember ever not knowing never to ask. 
									 
									His father called back, finally, at eleven 
									o'clock, saying he wanted to arrange an 
									appointment in Arlington next weekfor 
									all three of them. "Your mom needs you. To 
									get her to come over here. To see Mr. Menzer." 
									 
									"She needs a doctor, Dad. Not a lawyer." 
									 
									"It's incurable, son." 
									 
									"You can't know that." 
									 
									"Okay. To make you happy. A doctor, too." 
									 
									"A doctor. Period." 
									 
									"She needs you up here, Bobby. She's afraid 
									of going out of the house. At the 
									anniversary party, that was my last hope. I 
									tried my best. I just wish you could've been 
									there." 
									 
									"Dad, it was right before final exams. A 
									hundred kids" 
									 
									"Explaining it to her. In French. After the 
									toast, when I had Mr. Menzer here show her 
									the durable power of attorney, she started 
									screaming. Said I was trying to put her 
									away!" 
									 
									"You brought the lawyer to the house? For 
									your fiftieth wedding anniversary?" 
									 
									"Mr. Menzer's a friend. Hey, I'm at his 
									house, right? He set things up so the Feds 
									don't Jew nothing from me. From you. You got 
									to help me, son. My money's tied up in the 
									market. We might need those bonds for your 
									Mom. Look, no skin off your heinie. I'll pay 
									for your ticket. I know schoolteachers don't 
									make squat." 
									 
									"I'm coming, Dad. Soon. Goodbye."  
									 
									Bobby had never hung up on his father. He'd 
									told himself that the telephone was one of 
									the few things an 83-year-old man could 
									still control. Anger and embarrassment 
									swirled together, blurring his eyes while 
									he stared at the cat's water dish on the 
									vinyl floor.  
									 
									Fingertips were kneading his shoulders. "If 
									you don't start talking," his wife 
									whispered, "my mouth will be doing something 
									else in fifteen seconds." 
									 
									"You can't be responsible for your parents' 
									happiness," he intoned. "That's what Father 
									Kane told me. Every week. In confession." 
									 
									"He was right," Brenda said. 
									 
									"Of course he was right. He just wasn't very 
									helpful." 
									 
									"You can drive to Virginia in ten hours." 
									 
									"I can't do anything today. I'm going back 
									to sleep." He kissed her hair. "If I leave 
									tonight, I'll get there first thing 
									tomorrow."  
									  
		
								   
									 
									He was on his knees in the sewing room, Her 
									Roomreplacing the frayed extension cords 
									with new ones from Home Depot. On his annual 
									visit, every summer since he'd married and 
									moved to Charleston, he'd never gone inside 
									this roommuch less looked behind the 
									hummocks of seersucker, satin, and chintz. 
									Now he understood why his father had talked 
									about fire. It was a miracle the bare copper 
									piercing the insulation hadn't set something 
									off. Pulling blindly, both arms under the 
									convertible couch, he'd felt the tingle of 
									electricity in his hands. One outlet, two 
									brittle extension cordswith piggyback 
									plugs on both of them. Most of the wires led 
									to ancient Christmas tree lights, with bulbs 
									nearly the size of Easter eggs, half of them 
									missingexcept for one string that was 
									almost complete. His mother must've been 
									testing them, trying to salvage bulbs to 
									make one set work. And shoved them under the 
									furniture, forgotten.  
									 
									He tossed them all into a tangle next to the 
									closet door. He kept only the floor lamp and 
									the radio clock plugged in, each with its 
									new vinyl cord.  
									 
									What else? Before he returned to South 
									Carolina, he'd have to install a railing on 
									the cellar stairs. He couldn't believe that 
									his mother had been carrying baskets of 
									clothes, soiled and laundered, down and up, 
									for all these decades, with nothing to hang 
									onto. She could have tumbled to the 
									concrete, killed herself. And he'd lived 
									here for seventeen yearsher footsteps 
									echoing from the bare wood every other 
									morning, while he gazed into his dresser 
									drawers, making his choices, his father 
									already at the department store in a shirt 
									so immaculate that it seemed to create its 
									own light. Bobby began to doubt his own 
									capacity for seeing and hearing. . . . 
									 
									Ask her, Doctor. Ask her who I am. 
									 
									I know who you are, old man. 
									 
									Do you have children, Mrs. Semansky? 
									 
									Yes. 
									 
									Can you tell me their names? 
									 
									Robert. Ou est Robert? 
									 
									I'm here, Mom. Ici. 
									 
									What about your daughter? 
									 
									My daughter? 
									 
									Her name, Yvette. It begins with an E. 
									C'mon, you know.  
									 
									Mrs. Semansky, I'm going to give you three 
									colors. A little bit later, I'm going to ask 
									you what they are. All right? The colors are 
									red, white, and blue. 
									 
									He listens to her lungs, her heart, takes 
									her blood pressure. 130 over 90better than 
									his! He lavages the wax from her ears. Then 
									he asks for the colors back. 
									 
									Her eyebrows narrow. In concentration? 
									Disdain? 
									 
									You know, honey. The flag. The country that 
									saved you. The country that gave you those 
									beautiful bonds. 
									 
									I'd like to see you next week, Mrs. Semansky. 
									 
									She stands up. Oh, we'd like a lot of zings. 
									 
									His mother sits in the back seat of the El 
									Dorado, holding his hand, while his father 
									drives.  
									 
									Her name. Say it, old man. 
									 
									You did good, honey. Real good. You up for 
									some food? 
									 
									She struggles against her shoulder harness. 
									You can't make me eat anyzing! No! Nein! 
									 
									 
									From far beyond the open doorway, the vacuum 
									began wheezing like an old tenor with 
									pneumonia. After he double-checked the 
									connections and reset the clock, he walked 
									down the hallway to the master suite that 
									was now the guest bedroom. His bedroom, once 
									a year. Smiling, graceful, mignonne as ever, 
									his mother was pulling the Kenmore 
									canisternot a swirl of gray in her dark 
									hair. She could have been the elder sister 
									of the young woman in the wedding portrait 
									on the nightstand. But his father? His image 
									had collapsed into itselfchest to stomach, 
									dimples to jowls, a strong, stocky man 
									sagged to a waddling mound of flesh. How had 
									his voice survived?  
									 
									The carpet attachment was grumbling across 
									the hardwood floor. When she saw Bobby in 
									the doorway, she turned off the machine and 
									centered his empty suitcase beneath the 
									windowsill. "You're so clean, my darling 
									Robert." Her smile belonged on a seventh 
									grader trying to hide her braces. "Like 
									nobody's here." 
									 
									  
		
								   
									 
									That evening, he was standing with her by 
									the bathroom sink, tryingtrying to do 
									what, exactly? To remind her to clean her 
									dentures? She didn't know how any more. The 
									first time he handed her the Efferdent 
									tablet, he barely stopped her from popping 
									it into her mouth. "You don't eat this one, 
									Mom. It's not like your Aricept." 
									 
									When he'd finally gotten her to take out her 
									teeth and put them into the plastic 
									container, his father came into the room. 
									 
									"What the hell are you doing, Bobby?" His 
									father turned over a ceramic soap dish and 
									put the Efferdent tablet on top of it. Then 
									he took out his Swiss Army knife, scoring 
									the tablet until it separated into two 
									perfect halves. 
									 
									"What in the hell are you doing?' For his 
									mother's sake, Bobby kept his voice to a 
									whisper.  
									 
									His father dropped one of the halves into 
									the plastic container and handed its twin to 
									Bobby. "Don't you know the stuff they put in 
									these things? Way more than you need. It 
									don't take no more than half." His father 
									grinned his upper lip into his gum line. "I 
									get by with quarters for mine." 
									 
									His mother was sitting on the edge of the 
									bathtub, sliding her feet in and out of her 
									bedroom slippers. Bobby grabbed his father's 
									arm and led him out into the hallway. 
									 
									"Dad, I'm trying to keep her from swallowing 
									those tablets. How's she supposed to 
									remember to cut them in half?" 
									 
									"I can remember for her." 
									 
									"It's better for her to do as much as she 
									can. By herself." 
									 
									"I'll let her cut." 
									 
									Bobby thanked God that Elizabeth was in 
									Baltimore. "You don't want her fooling 
									around with knives, Dad." 
									 
									  
		
								   
									 
									Bobby rarely remembered his dreams. But when 
									he heard the pipes rattle through the wall 
									behind the headboard, he knew he was 
									dreaming. About his own house. About Brenda. 
									The Mistress of the Night, she called 
									herself. She'd zip through bodice-rippers 
									for hours after he'd gone to bed, wake him 
									up for whatever he could manage, then beat 
									him into the shower stall the next morning. 
									How did she do it? They weren't kids 
									anymore, they'd both be forty before they 
									could blink. . . . 
									 
									The bedroom door opened to a dim light, and 
									he felt himself drifting awake. Someone was 
									there. Testing his parents' bed, smoothing 
									the comforter, then lying on top of it. 
									Fingertips brushed his temples.  
									 
									"Cet homme"his mother was speaking in 
									French"this man, this Boche, he comes and 
									he says he is you to me. He comes and he 
									goes. Sometimes nice, sometimes not so nice. 
									He sounds like you. You understand?"  
									 
									He moved his head slowly, up and down, so 
									she could feel his answer with her own 
									hands. 
									 
									Now she said, in English, "I don't know who. 
									I don't know who he speaks." 
									 
									"Close your eyes," Bobby said. Following his 
									own words, he listened to the dark house for 
									a future in which they could still believe. 
									"Ecoutez. Ecoutez." 
									 
									But she was already asleepbeyond him, 
									beyond herself, beyond the unseeable ocean 
									that she still had the courage to cross. 
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