Foretelling? In the sandbox I plotted out
Apses with twigs, piled pebble altars.
(I’ll need a new vocabulary.)

So much to decide.
Holy writ or oral tradition?
Monotheism or polytheism?
The timing so perfect,
Soon the millenium.

My spiritual journey from
Amish to Zoroastrianism (nothing worked) :
I’ve tried it alone and in groups,
Awake and asleep.
With candles and cats and clowns.
The red wine I’ve drunk, poured out.
The crystals I’ve hoarded…
(Collectibles – is that
what makes a religion?)

Sins – we already know our own.
(Not a bad “central tenet.”
No fasting. Probably no kneeling.
I want belief without cruel practice
(but commitment).
None of the bad -isms.

Not every day I get a great idea like
Inventing my own religion.
No – I won't be its central deity
(the most natural idea
in the supernatural world).

Chaos   

Lying scientists with their false comfort:
Even chaos has order

The more pillows I hide under the
Louder I hear the shrieks:
A cat, a child, a soul.
Random - unjust - chaos from the
"minuscule" to the personal to the eternal:
it cannot be shut off

I didn't hear chaos before; I am weaker from
A constant predicament
I am older, more porous to woe. I thought
An untroubled house was just that.
Only a temporary overlooking by evil.

Lying scientists: thrown confetti
And everything else falls into
Not just a pattern, a pretty one.

Chaos: heartless as in empty, also cruel.
Chaos as in never-safe.